I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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