they need to just BURY HIM!
The beer is more important than you right now.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
