Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
