Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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