You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
