Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
