I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
NoShamevember. You game?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
