I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
