We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am mentally ready for anal.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
