Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
