dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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