Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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