Where did you get a picture of my penis
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
