that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
