Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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