I want to stick my p in your. b.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
accomplished twins. life is a go
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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