when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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