My friends, they love my intelligence
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
