Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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