Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
