it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
