Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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