He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
