i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
