I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
