Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
