hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My bed smells like the plague
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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