I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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