i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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