Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
