Do vagina's smell?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
