I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
