I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
