i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
