My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
