My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
