Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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