I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
