The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
