Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
