Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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