just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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