did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
