I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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