i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
our cab driver is having phone sex.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
