Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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