it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
