So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
