woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
