the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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