Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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