I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
