remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
