I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
